Gen Zen: It may seem small, but here's how setting passwords with positive messages boosted my confidence

SINGAPORE — Recently, while updating my computer login password, I swapped the usual jumble of letters and numbers for something unexpected: A cheesy, positive reminder to hopefully lift my spirits. 

It felt silly and I was embarrassed enough to keep sneaking glances over my shoulder in case someone noticed that I was typing “iamenough23!” on my keyboard. 

Still, in the days and weeks that followed, there was a small, almost imperceptible buoyancy in my mood and how I thought about myself.

I have now changed the passwords on all my devices and use phrases that convey similarly positive messages such as “capable45$” or even something I hope to achieve such as “endlessgoodideas56%”.

It is not uncommon to see posters with messages of positive affirmation posters or on neon signs adorning walls of shops, gyms and some homes, but I usually brush these off as decorative — something that businesses put up to create Instagram-worthy backdrops. 

Although, of course, there is still some possibility that a large neon sign staring you in the face day after day could send subliminal messages to your brain.

Could typing a self-affirming password a couple of times a day or pasting a small Post-It note with a positive message on your mirror have any effect? Did my new passwords really help put me in a better, more motivated mood, or was it purely coincidence? 

REPETITION MAKES POSITIVE THOUGHTS 'MORE AUTOMATIC'

The psychologists I interviewed said that positive affirmations, whether in the form of a password, something written on a Post-it, a vision board or phone reminders, can have an even more powerful effect than I imagined. 

Ms Lisa Tang, clinical psychologist from Annabelle Psychology, said that these positive affirmation words or phrases work “almost like building a shortcut to the affirmative message in our minds”.

Assuming we log in to online sites or devices very often, each login strengthens the neural pathways in our brain, making the positive thought “more automatic” over time.

“Moreover, this repetition not only reinforces the affirmative message in our minds but also provides opportunities for positive self-talk," she added.

Ms Ooi Sze Jin, founder of counselling practice A Kind Place, said that these messages can help to “reframe the way we think” and to encourage people to focus on their strengths, capabilities and positive aspects of life.

“By regularly repeating these affirmations, individuals can slowly begin to internalise these positive messages, enhancing self-perception and improving mental health.”

These small and constant reminders do have a cumulative effect, she added.  

“According to Relational Frame Theory, our brains create meaning by linking things together, like the act of logging in with the positive message in your password.” 

For example, when you log in using a password like “iamenough23!”, your brain starts linking the act of logging in with the positive message in your password.

“Over time, this repeated action strengthens that connection, so it subtly boosts your self-belief without needing much conscious effort,” Ms Ooi said. 

GIVES CREDIT TO EFFORTS, STAMPS OUT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

The experts acknowledged that writing positive affirmations can often feel cheesy or even “cringeworthy,” especially when one is not fully convinced about these statements themselves at first. ​

Ms Ooi said that, especially in Asian culture, we have been taught not to speak positively or too highly of ourselves since it might come across as boastful or arrogant. 

“Many find it easy to speak negatively about themselves or be harsh on themselves. However, when asked to use positive affirmations, it is something that they are not used to and they also might feel uneasy when they say it,” she added.

Ms Tang said that we also tend to be more aware of negative experiences due to a cognitive process known as “confirmation bias” reinforcing our negative beliefs over time. 

Confirmation bias is the tendency to favour information that supports one’s existing beliefs or opinions while disregarding or minimising evidence that contradicts them.​

“As these beliefs become internalised, we are likely to magnify our flaws while minimising or even nullifying our strengths. Consequently, it can feel ludicrous to accept positive affirmations about ourselves,” she explained. 

It may be easy for people to shrug off their hard work and progress as well, because they have not reached their goals and thus feel that they are “not enough".

“This is a common trap where our goalposts shift along the way, preventing us from ever feeling like we are ‘there’,” Ms Tang said. 

Positive affirmations can be used as a way to combat this by acknowledging our strengths, giving fair credit to our efforts and serving as “cheerleaders” and “checkpoints” that we are on track as we work towards whatever goals we have set. 

Ms Tang pointed out that low self-esteem and a lack of self-compassion can make it difficult for people to believe that they deserve positive affirmations or that such statements could be true.

In that sense, positive affirmations can shift this needle by boosting our self-esteem and self-belief in the long run and letting us know that we can navigate and overcome challenges. 

“Affirmations foster a kinder internal dialogue, which allows us to be more accepting of our imperfections and to act compassionately toward ourselves,” she added.

NOT A CURE-ALL 

While the simple act of writing encouraging messages does have some positive effects, the experts cautioned that it should not be taken as a cure-all. 

Ms Tang said that it is important to have “realistic expectations” regarding positive affirmations and not use them excessively or as escapism. 

“Positive affirmations are not going to get rid of a problem (you have). You will have to continue working hard to address it.”

Positive affirmation serves as an aid to help build up self-confidence and self-efficacy in the long-term so that you believe you can solve the problem eventually.

Agreeing, Ms Ooi said that positive affirmations cannot “solve all our problems”, especially for those with more serious mental health issues. 

“It is important to recognise that positive affirmations are not a magic pill to heal our psychological pains. Instead, it can serve as a good daily reminder but taken lightly.”