'Very challenging' to deal with parents who expect immediate responses to messages: Teachers

SINGAPORE: Most parents are reasonable and do not expect teachers to respond immediately after school hours, but some ask “silly questions” and panic when they do not receive a reply, teachers said. 

Last Wednesday (Sep 18), Minister for Education Chan Chun Sing said teachers should not be expected to respond to work-related messages outside school hours. 

Setting "baseline" expectations for communication, the education minister said teachers should also use their official emails and office numbers when contacting parents. 

"I do not expect you to share your personal mobile numbers with parents. I don't want to make it a habit that you get buzzed at different times of the day,” he said, speaking at the annual Schools Work Plan Seminar. 

Teachers told CNA they were happy to hear him spell out these boundaries but were unsure whether this would work in practice. 

The names of educators interviewed for this story have been changed at their request as they are not authorised to speak to the media. 

Zara, a primary school teacher with more than 20 years of teaching experience, was at a wedding last weekend when a parent texted her to ask for their child’s password to the Student Learning Space portal. 

Teachers are not privy to the passwords but many parents do not know this, she said. 

Parents of primary school children can be “very high-strung” and want to rectify issues immediately even if they are “not so important”, Zara said. 

“They always think their child’s needs are very important. They sometimes forget that teachers do have their own lives after school.” 

“And if you don’t respond to them, they really think you are the kind of teacher who doesn’t care about their concerns,” Zara said, adding that some parents have group chats where they gossip or complain about teachers. 

Unless it is a real emergency, like if a child is missing or injured, there is no such thing as “can’t wait until tomorrow”, she added. 

Teachers can exchange messages with parents through apps like ClassDojo, but if they need to speak to parents, it's often easier to call using their mobiles than office phones. This is how parents end up saving teachers' personal phone numbers, they said.

Penelope, who teaches in a secondary school, was disappointed at the lack of more concrete announcements on communication guidelines. 

At her school, school leaders have already told parents that teachers work until about 5pm or 6pm. They also asked parents to avoid messaging staff outside working hours or to respect their decision if teachers do not give out their personal phone numbers. 

“Actually, in most schools, there would have been a certain degree (of this), or these guidelines would have been put in place already,” Penelope said. 

“It’s just whether it’s something that is really practised.” 

MOSTLY UNDERSTANDING, A FEW CHALLENGING PARENTS

All the teachers CNA spoke to stressed that most parents are understanding and some even apologise for contacting them after school hours, although a small number who are unreasonable can be “very challenging” to deal with. 

After school hours, some parents cannot contact their children and contact Penelope to ask if she knows where they might be. 

“It’s a bit overboard because we wouldn’t know … (They expect teachers) to provide solutions immediately or address issues immediately,” she said, adding that this happens even late at night. 

Older students also form a big part of those contacting teachers after school hours. Especially after the COVID-19 pandemic, class WhatsApp group chats created by teachers are common, Penelope said.

Students also have her personal phone number for emergencies, she added. 

“If they don't get an immediate response, they can get very upset and it can be blown up. But often we are not able to provide that immediate response to so many students at one go.”

Another teacher, Timothy, said he does not reply to every message sent outside school hours. 

For example, if the parent is anxious about possible bullying or has health and safety concerns, the primary school teacher will respond quickly to let them know that he will follow up on the incident the next day. 

“But if it’s a message asking me what to wear tomorrow … I’m just going to completely ignore the message,” Timothy said. 

“The next day, I’ll speak to the kid about it, and tell the kid it’s not mummy's and daddy’s job to do such a thing. It’s your job to find out what you need to bring or take note of it in your student handbook.” 

While he has not encountered “nasty” parents, some have requested to call him on a weekend or at night on weekdays because they are only available then. 

Over the years, he has observed that more parents now work full-time with “inflexible” hours. 

“I feel that the policy might only work on paper, but on the ground, it may not be as effective because of all these other reasons that teachers and even the parents themselves cannot control.” 

Wendy, who also teaches in a primary school, often gets messages from parents late at night about their child being sick and not being able to go to school the next day, or other “simple queries” about homework or scheduling. 

“Personally, I'm okay if it's just a message to inform. But of course, it's not nice to see such a message at 11pm. I wish parents would wait until work hours to inform me.” 

Instead of approaching the teacher with their queries, parents can check their children’s student handbook, the Parents Gateway platform, or even the school website first, she said. 

“Parents can always refer to these sources before they contact the teacher instead of just making it convenient for themselves by contacting the teacher for everything.” 

Education minister Mr Chan also said on Wednesday that by the end of next year, parents can submit their children's medical certificates on the Parents Gateway app instead of sending them to teachers. 

This will reduce the amount of administrative work needed to manually log a student's medical certificate or parents' letter when they are absent, said Matilda, a secondary school teacher. 

"The draining part of the process is the students who don't pass the MCs to us or require a lot of reminders ... and this could be because of forgetfulness on the students' part, or understandably, some parents are very swamped," she said. 

INTERNAL WORK-RELATED MESSAGES

Matilda, who has had a work phone since she became a teacher, said it “can be very irritating” to manage parents or students who message her after school hours. 

One of her colleagues encountered a parent who would send them a message at 6pm, follow up at 9pm and then send a series of question marks at 7am the next day if they did not receive a response, she said. 

The secondary school teacher tries not to check her work phone after she reaches home at about 7pm. 

“A big part of dealing with it is not so much in the actions, it’s more of a mindset thing ... Because sometimes even when it’s not an emergency, we feel very compelled to reply.” 

Other times, the “call is coming from inside the house”, Matilda said. Many teachers receive messages from their colleagues, supervisors and school leaders after working hours. 

She finds it easier to deal with her students or their parents because they mostly do not expect immediate replies, but not responding to her colleagues outside of work hours is a “personal struggle”. 

“What do we do when the people who should be enforcing these work-life boundaries are the ones who are flouting them? What measures can we take in that case?” 

Naomi, who teaches in a special education school, also has a work phone. She decided to buy one years ago after receiving messages late at night not from parents or students, but from her colleagues and supervisors at the previous school she worked at. 

“They would text you very late after work, even on weekends, and then suddenly expect you to do something and get it done by the next morning,” she said. 

“That's not fair because we all have our own personal lives outside of work.” 

After leaving work, she does not check her work phone at all, Naomi said, adding that she feels stressed if she sees the messages waiting for her. 

“Some colleagues they don't realise that after work hours or on weekends, there are certain things you just don't have to update … but they have the tendency to just message in a group chat,” she said, adding that she has up to 30 different group chats related to work. 

But it can be difficult to ignore messages from supervisors even after work hours, Naomi admitted. “I have heard from my friend, at their school, if they don’t respond to messages, they get marked down for their work reviews.”